JOY!

I saw on the news this morning a heartwarming picture of Syrian boy aged six or seven being pulled from the rubble of the recent catastrophic earthquakes. The boy was alive, thank God, but more than that he had the most angelic, inspiring smile on his face. Having been rescued he offered all of us a smile of JOY! In the midst of disaster, Joy! 

Recently, just yesterday in fact, I posted a response to a beautiful piece on Fredrick Douglas, someone whom I admire very much. At the end of my post, I included a link to my author’s site as I often do. I went to bed thinking no more of it. Waking at 1:30 a.m. I opened my computer to find a long string people wishing to subscribe to my blog … this ... never happened before. Can’t remember ever smiling that much at 1:30 a.m. This got me to thinking about joy and about how joy is intimately connected to the unexpected. 

I draw a distinction between liking something and being filled with joy. You know what I’m talking about, right? I like cashews, mallow mar cookies and bourbon. I like waking up to the realization of how I’ve been blessed, I like the warm womb-like feeling of easing into our hot tub, I like the anticipation of travel. What do you like? Is what you like real joy? 

Cashews are good, but the surprise of having someone offer me seasoned cashews is a delight. Mallow mar cookies are fine but watching the face of someone eating one who has never had one is a real hoot. My go-to bourbon is satisfying but having a friend introduce me to a premium blend I’ve not tasted before is intoxicating (Sometimes literally). Feeling blessed is satisfying but passing a blessing on is fulfilling. That hot tub can be bone-deep relaxing but the antics of the birds and squirrels I watch as I soak, that is exhilarating. Looking forward to new sights is exciting but standing in awe of a rain forest, the Grand Canyon, a 1000- year-old cathedral, a 2500-year-old Greek temple, or simply thick, rich, Greek coffee – for the first time, That, my friend is JOY! 

I am currently reading a whimsical treatise on human behavior called “It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It.” It was written by a beloved 85-year-old Texas author best known for his “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.” Fulghum is a Unitarian Universalist minister, and his writing combines the wisdom of Yoda, the warmth of Pooh Bear and the incredible wit of Robin Williams. What does he write about? He writes about the simple things in life and how simple things have the uncanny ability to bring about great joy. 

I’ve dog-eared many pages in Fulghum’s books. His vignettes bring me not only chuckles, but understanding and great joy too. I’ll give you an example. He says, “I don’t worry about the meaning of life – I can’t handle that big stuff. What concerns me is the meaning in life – day by day, hour by hour, while I’m doing whatever I do. What counts is not what I do, but how I think about myself while I’m doing it.” 

Joy, do you find joy in certain television shows? I know a man who will not miss an episode of Jeopardy. I remember the incredible anticipation I had waiting for the next episode of “Game of Thrones.” 

Oh yes, the tube (Can we still call our flat screens – tubes?)  can be a time waster … it can also be informative and most recently, I discovered it can bring great joy. My wife and I just finished watching a South Korean dramedy series called “The Extraordinary Attorney Woo.” It’s about a brilliant, autistic, young Korean Woman who navigates a minefield of obstacles and disappointments while seeing whales everywhere she goes and sharing her fascination of them with everyone she meets. I laughed and teared up over every episode. And when the series ended, I wanted to hug every single person in the cast. The director and producer brought us totally unexpected – Joy. 

My wife brings me joy. I am overjoyed by her culinary expertise. I thrill to her touch. We named our daughter Joy. Oh, funny story about that. My wife had a dream that the baby she carried was a girl and that she would call her Joy. When the baby arrived, and the doctor told her it was a boy her honest reaction was – WHAT?!? So, we had another child, and this girl had her name all picked out. Joy by the way truly is, a joy.  

All right, what does all this have to do with the Civil War picture attached to this blog. Well, it has to do with a statement I heard a black man announce on TV regarding an episode of “Finding Your Roots” I don’t remember his exact words, but it was something to the effect of, “Black families were thankful to find places where they could establish their own communities and find joy in a world that would deny them that joy.” The man said it with a heartfelt smile, with joy in his heart.  

Now, I have been researching the Civil War and its aftermath for years, so much so that people have heard me say I feel as if I once lived in that era. Up until recently I have focused almost exclusively on the horror, the fear, the prejudice and the spite of those years, ignoring the fact that despite horrible conditions, joy can still be found and joy can flourish. It just needs tending and nourishment. 

I leave you with another quote from Fulghum.  

“The line between good and evil, hope and despair, does not divide the world between “us” and “them.” It runs down the middle of every one of us. I do not want to talk about what you understand about this world. I want to know what you are going to do about it. I do not want to know what you hope. I want to know what you will work for. I do not want your sympathy for the needs of humanity. I want your muscle. As the wagon driver said when they came to a long hard hill, “Them that’s goin’ on with us, get out and push. Them that ain’t, get out of the way!” 

I wish each and every one of you joy and the sincere wish that you share your joy with others.